Comments on: ‘How Do You Go to the Bathroom?’ ‘Can You Still Have Children?’: Things NOT to Say to People With Disabilities

By: James

James — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 15:19:32 +0000

Reading through this list, there are several points here that are also “please don’t ask” questions for Transgender people. Please don’t get me wrong; I don’t mean to diminish or invalidate – but there are similar insensitivities (such as the how do you go to the bathroom or about children) that are asked of trans folks as well. Just because someone is physically different or differently abled shouldn’t make them an object OF questioning – beyond what you would do with any other human relationship.”

By: Fran

Fran — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 13:36:50 +0000

I have a disability and have been asked these questions. My answer is always “The same way you do.” This stops them in their tracks and avoids any further STUPID questions.

By: grannybunny

grannybunny — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 12:49:49 +0000

I generally have mixed feelings about your “What not to say to people who are _____” series, because — as Dagit says above — it creates the mental association between people who are different with bad things about which we cannot speak in polite company. I have had 2 close friends who were paraplegic and used wheelchairs: 1 whose condition was congenital, the other as a result of combat injuries in Vietnam. Both expressed to me the fervent wish that others would feel free to ask natural questions and make casual comments — even joking and teasing — about their differences. That being said, there are still some things that should never be said to anyone — not just those with disabilities — such as asking about their fertility and toileting practices.