What should you NOT say to people with disabilities? Get lessons from the experts.

“It is not so much about etiquette. … Words that speak to a person’s medical condition are not appropriate, and it is important to put the person first: a person with a disability versus a diabetic, quadriplegic, et cetera,” says Deborah Dagit, a disabilities expert and Vice President and Chief Diversity Officer of Merck & Co. (No. 16 on the DiversityInc Top 50), who was born with Osteogenesis imperfecta (brittle bone disease), is four feet tall and uses a wheelchair at work to enhance her mobility.

When all else fails, it’s OK to ask respectfully, says Dagit, who prefers to be called a “little person.” “I am proud to be associated with this community, but others who are diminutive may think this sounds too much like they are part of a daycare center,” she explains. “I am also not comfortable with being described as wheelchair-bound or confined: My wheelchair and motorized scooter are enabling tools in my life and I am neither tied into them nor unhappy about using them to be safer and more comfortable.”

You Said WHAT?!

Culturally insensitive terms include “handicapped,” “retarded” and “slow,” and even “compliments” such as “but you look so good.”

Executives from the National Organization on Disability say the best advice is to use common sense: “If you wouldn’t say it to your boss, you shouldn’t say it to a person with a disability.”

We’ve compiled a list of real-life conversations that happened in the workplace to serve as examples of what not to say to people with visible and/or invisible disabilities.

1. “How do you go to the bathroom?”

“Yes, this still gets asked,” says Will Roberts, Program Manager at NOD, who uses a wheelchair. “Unfortunately, potty talk doesn’t end in elementary school. Anything to do with bodily functions is out of line, just as it would be with any other co-worker.”

2. “I don’t even think of you as a person with a disability.”

Meg O’Connell, Vice President of Corporate Programs at NOD, gets this comment a lot when she discloses that she has epilepsy. This is the equivalent of saying, “I don’t think of you as a Black person, or Asian, or Hispanic, or gay, or a woman,” says O’Connell. “This is a comment that really doesn’t add value.”

O’Connell advises that when someone is disclosing a disability, the best response is to ask if the person needs anything or to thank them for disclosing such personal information.

3. “Can you still have children?”

This is not an appropriate question to ask any co-worker. The National Organization on Disability says you can simply ask as you would any other co-worker, “Are you married?” or, “Do you have children?”

4. “If the organization’s willing to hire someone who looks like you, it’s more caring than I thought.

“Shortly after being hired for a visible leadership role in my company, I had several colleagues tell me this with tears in their eyes. What do you say to a comment like that?” asks Dagit. “‘Thank you’?”

5. “Tell me what he/she might want/need?”

“My father-in-law had Parkinson’s disease, and this would happen a lot when we would be out to dinner: The waiter or waitress would invariably ask, ‘Do you know what he wants?’ We would usually just say, ‘Why don’t you ask him?’” says O’Connell.

Always speak directly to the person with a disability, and if there is something the person needs, he/she will let you know, O’Connell says.

6. ”Oh, I’m so sorry,” or, “It must be bad for you.”

“Most people with disabilities have learned to live very well with their disability and do not need pity or sympathy,” says NOD Director of Research and Public Funding Kate Brady. “Offering your sympathy on what you believe to be a struggle or difficult for a person with a disability may not be—it may just be how they get things done.”

7. “When will you get better and not have to use a wheelchair/cane, take medication, et cetera?”

People tend to associate orthopedic equipment, tools and treatments as a limiting stigma of a person’s disability rather than a method of well-being and productivity. After one bad fall and subsequent medical leave, Dagit made the choice to start using a wheelchair or motorized scooter at work.

“On many occasions people expressed concern about my health and wondered when I would get better,” she says. “They associated using a wheelchair with not recovering, although I explained many times I am in excellent health and feeling better than I did before I got hurt—it helps me better manage my energy and prevent injuries.”

8. ”Wow, you can drive!” or, “How did you do that?”

Expressing amazement and congratulations for achieving everyday tasks is not appropriate, explains Roberts. “People with disabilities have the same wants and needs as anyone else, and if they can, they will find a way to get what they need and are uncomfortable with praise,” he says.

9. “What, are you retarded?”

Intellectual insults can be common workplace banter. However, using a slur to comment on someone’s abilities is offensive, not to mention insensitive, as one in five people have a disability. Think before you speak.

Pay It Forward: Inclusion at Work and Home

Additionally, Dagit notes that employees with children should pay their diversity training forward at home. “I usually choose to work from home on Take Your Child to Work Day. … It is exponentially more challenging when a colleague’s child makes an awkward comment and the parent reacts with horror,” she says.

Parents should let children ask questions about people who are different, but they should do so quietly—and they should never point or stare for a prolonged period. “The worst possible reaction is to punish the child,” Dagit says, “as they then associate people who are different with something bad that they cannot talk about.”

For more things not to say to people with disabilities, read 7 Things NEVER to Say to People With Disabilities.

Also read Things ‘to’ Say to People With Disabilities for advice on how you can dispel stereotypes and promote inclusion in the workplace.

For more on inclusive best practices read:

What Is Possible for People With Disabilities?

How Recruiting People With Disabilities Solved Toyota’s Costly Problem

You Can Get Fired During FMLA Leave

Obesity Is a Disability, Says EEOC 

The post ‘How Do You Go to the Bathroom?’ ‘Can You Still Have Children?’: Things NOT to Say to People With Disabilities appeared first on DiversityInc.

In 1983, the company I was working for at the time of my accident, IBM, asked me to come back to work in a wheelchair. I was relocated to White Plains, N.Y., from 205 East 42nd Street in Manhattan, which was down the street from the United Nations building and across the street from the “Daily News.” (IBM is No. 8 in The DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity.)

I married the love of my life, Maggie, in 1988. Since then, we have raised two children, both now living in Boston: our daughter, who is now an attorney, and our son, who is finishing up college at Northeastern University.

In 1990, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) became law. During the 20 years since the ADA was enacted, I have seen positive steps taken on many levels when it comes to changing attitudes regarding people with disabilities.

The ADA put the spotlight on a severely underrepresented group in our nation. Because of the ADA, people with disabilities are a group with a voice; we are now a legitimate constituency that has come of age. The disability community is a constituency that votes, that works, and that pays taxes. Human beings, who were once invisible, are now visible and can no longer be ignored.

The second prominent change I’ve seen in the last 20 years centers around the attitude of the American people and how our nation now perceives leaders. For example, the glass ceiling was symbolically and continually broken when women began to take on numerous leadership roles previously held by men.

You know these women as well as I do. In politics, regardless of political orientation, they include Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, holding powerful jobs previously held by men.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention another change in attitude we were all witness to: the historic election of our first Black president, Barack Obama. This attitude change in America bodes well for people with disabilities as we, as a community, aspire to similar leadership positions.

A New World

The third change I’d like to mention has to do with technology. For the first time in history, everything is connected—businesses, workflows and transactions.

There are 1.2 billion people, millions of businesses and perhaps a trillion devices connected to the World Wide Web today. In 2011, the Internet reached two billion people—nearly one-third of the world’s population.

Given the proliferation of technology, it shouldn’t be surprising that 70 percent of the computer chips produced today do not go into “computers.” They go into cars and planes, appliances, roadways, shipping containers, pacemakers, emergency rooms and every product with a radio-frequency identification tag … all “intelligent” and all connected.

With this technology revolution emerges a key point: Technology is the great equalizer for people with disabilities and will continue to play a major role in enabling people with disabilities to reach their full potential.

Between now and 2015, as the baby boomers retire, America will need between 10 and 15 million new workers. Add to that the demand for skills we see around the world and it becomes clear that businesses cannot afford to exclude any one constituency group from the talent pool.

This is especially true when it comes to people with disabilities, a large and under-utilized workforce that is employed at dramatically lower rates than the population of people with no disabilities, both in the United States and around the world. In August 2010, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that the unemployment rate of people with disabilities was 14.5 percent, higher than the rate for those with no disability, which was 9 percent.

Looked at another way, the employment-population ratio—the proportion of the population that is employed—was 19 percent for people with disabilities. Among those with no disability, the ratio was much higher: 64 percent.

The U.S. Census Bureau has previously reported that 51 million people, or 18 percent of the population, have some form of disability. Globally, the World Health Organization reports that between 750 million and 1 billion people have a disability. In addition, this constituency group controls $1 trillion in aggregate income and more than $220 billion in disposable income annually.

This data suggests that we should be able to leverage more of this under-utilized talent than we do today, if for no other reason than because it is good business—and people with disabilities are both customers and part of our talent base.

Global Challenges for People With Disabilities

The global environment argues against the exclusion of talent of any kind. Globalization, in my view, actually favors people with disabilities in the workforce, more than at any other time in history.

This is the new world of work, a world I believe is extending a hand to people with disabilities to not only participate but to lead. This is a time of great opportunity for people with disabilities to be a leader in business, government or other areas of employment. But more must be done to close critical gaps that will allow people with disabilities to become more fully integrated in society and the workplace.

To achieve this, we must strengthen partnerships with government and non-governmental organizations to help people with disabilities get to work as well as earn enough to wean themselves off our well-intentioned social programs. To accomplish this, three areas require attention: transportation, technology and inclusion.

First, transportation: According to a National Organization on Disability/Harris survey, people with disabilities are twice as likely to have inadequate transportation when compared with the mainstream population (31 percent versus 13 percent).

Lack of mobility is a major inhibitor if one aspires to a leadership role. The inability to travel, or the perception that one cannot travel easily, may even remove people with disabilities from consideration for a variety of jobs, making career advancement more difficult. Is this perception right? The answer is no. Does it exist? The answer is yes.

Government and business must continue to partner and look at transportation from the perspective of people with disabilities. A holistic approach must be taken, beginning with a person with a disability at home and mapping a route from home to work and back. The basic elements include: education and training, healthcare needs to get up and leave the house, appropriate transportation (public or private), and a workplace that is accessible, flexible and inclusive.

Second, technology: The Harris survey also reported that Americans with disabilities not only rely on assistive technology but a third reported they would lose their independence without technology.

Many assistive-technology accommodations cost as little as $500.00. The investment in technology to employ a professional with a disability may be less than the price a business pays for repeated costs of attrition, recruiting and hiring. Investments in technology can help make all employees more productive.

Finally, we can all do more when it comes to inclusion—that is, being comfortable with people who are different than we are.

Integral, Not Isolated

For some employers today, the inclination is to think that if an employee has a disability, the employment issue can be handled by just providing technology that enables an employee to work from home. In some cases that may be true or even necessary. But I think it’s critical for people with disabilities to be visible and in the workplace. To overcome basic misconceptions, a professional with a disability must be fully integrated into the workplace, not isolated.

I’m sure there are many organizations that will hire a person with a disability with the right skills for a job, but how many have the vision to consider that same person to run their company or organization? Take a look at people with disabilities who are professionals in your own organizations; they may just be the leaders you are looking for—right under your nose and ready to lead. I ask that you employ people with disabilities not just for a job but for a leadership career in your organization.

Although we have seen significant changes in the world, we still have a long way to go. As you reflect on this topic, consider these questions: What do you see when you look at a person with a disability? Do you see just a blind person, a person who is deaf, or a person who uses a wheelchair?

The next time you meet a person with a disability, I would like you to see a business colleague … possibly a person who could be your next manager or even the next CEO of your organization.

Until we change our perceptions and paradigms, we will never see what is possible. Until we see and act upon what is possible, we will never change the present.

– Jim Sinocchi, Director for Workforce Communications, IBM Corp.

The post What Is Possible for People With Disabilities? appeared first on DiversityInc.

It took 18–24 months to create a safe work environment and educate existing employees about working with the new crew. The results:

• Overall employee engagement increased, as did awareness of people with disabilities
• The new employees reported great pride in their jobs
• Two seconds were shaved off the production process
• Community and public relations were improved

Presented by: Dave Orrender, Assembly Manager, and Tim Turner, Assembly Safety Team Leader, Toyota Motor North America.

The post How Recruiting People With Disabilities Solved Toyota’s Costly Problem appeared first on DiversityInc.

Company accused of hiring only gay men loses $1-million verdict. Three women filed a discrimination charge against a shipping company, alleging that the company only hired gay men for station-manager jobs. When the gay, male manager of one location left, the assistant, also a gay man, was logically made acting manager. He stated his interest in being appointed as the regular station manager. However, the company refused to even accept his application for the opening. He was told he would not be considered because the company was “in a boiling pot of water” because of the three women’s complaints.

A senior manager told others that the company “needed to clean house” of gay people. Under the Maine Human Rights Act, a jury awarded more than $1 million in damages plus attorney fees for discriminatory denial of the promotional opportunity in Russel v. Express Jet Airlines, Inc. (Maine S.Ct., 2011). The warning in this case is about overreaction. Do not react to one discrimination case by then discriminating in another direction. Adopt validated, sound practices in general. 

For more on hiring best practices, watch our recruitment web seminar, featuring staffing leaders from AT&T and Toyota Motor Sales, and read Diversity Training Goes Way Beyond Compliance. 

Georgia legislature could not fire transgender state employee. The 14th Amendment Equal Protection Clause covers discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and transgender by government employers (unlike Title VII, which does not cover these issues). When the editor of a Georgia General Assembly publication began a transition from male to female, the legislative council manager initiated a discharge. The manager stated that the sex reassignment would be “inappropriate” and “disruptive” and some coworkers would have a “moral issue and feel uncomfortable.” In the resulting case, the court found clear discrimination based on transgender and gender stereotyping. Glenn v. Brumby (11th Cir., 2011).  

For more on LGBT best practices, read Our Analysis of the HRC’s Corporate Equality Index and  Ask DiversityInc: How Can Corporations Support Same-Sex Marriage? 

Discrimination: Age

$17.7 million to older drivers. A jury found that a soda-bottling company engaged in a deliberate plan to rid itself of older truck and forklift drivers by artificially lowering performance evaluations and assigning harder work designed to cause injury or motivate them to resign. Evidence included a “manager claiming he was required to discriminate against older drivers,” comments by a senior manager referring to facilities with older workers as “retirement communities” in need of “new blood,” and the non-responsiveness of human resources to complaints made by the older workers. Seven plaintiffs received the award, including $1 million each for pain and suffering and up to $2 million each in punitive damages in Ward v. Cadbury Schweppes Bottling Group (C.D. Cal., 2011). The awards were under California’s antidiscrimination laws and are not subject to the liability caps of the federal Age Discrimination in Employment Act.

For more on generational communications in the workplace, read Ask DiversityInc: How Can We Start Resource Groups Based on Generations, Disabilities? and watch our  resource groups webinar.

Discrimination: Disability

Injured vet gets job, but not millions. An injured Iraq war veteran won a jury verdict of $4.4 million because of discrimination. The defendant was, of all entities, the Department of the Army. The plaintiff lost his right hand, part of a lung and an eye while defusing a roadside bomb. On return from duty, he had a civilian job at the Detroit Arsenal. His supervisor and some coworkers were derogatory of his disability, calling him “cripple,” “lefty” and other names. When he objected, the supervisor said, “If you don’t like the way you are treated, go find another job.” He left, sued for constructive discharge and won. The award included $4.4 million in “front pay.” An appeals court modified the verdict. It held that reinstatement to a job—a higher-paying job under different supervisors—was the proper remedy, and not front pay. At age 38, it was unfeasible that he needed an entire life’s worth of pay, as if he would never be able to find another source of income, which is what front pay is supposed to compensate. McKelvey v. Army (6th Cir., 2011).

For more  best practices on hiring and developing veteran talent, read Veterans in the Workplace: How to Help Them Succeed and watch our veterans web seminar.

Hotel kitchen worker loses ADA case; would have won ADAAA case. The pre-amendment ADA cases are gradually coming to an end, while cases under the ADA Amendments Act are coming to the fore. This case is an illustration of why the ADA was amended. In Ramos-Echeverra v. Pichis, Inc. (1st Cir., 2011), a hotel kitchen worker’s epilepsy caused up to 16 seizures a week. However, this rarely interfered with work and never caused a serious performance or safety issue. Management, however, denied him full-time hours. He sued under the ADA. The court dismissed, ruling that even with 16 seizures a week, he was not “disabled” because he could still do work and most life activities. The ADAAA was passed specifically because the courts were making restrictive rulings about the definition of disability. It changed the definition of disability. The employee’s history of epilepsy and number of seizures would clearly be a disability now, and the case would proceed.

Court rules for deceased employee: morbid obesity is a disability. The EEOC pursued a disability case on behalf of a person fired from a residential care facility because her morbid obesity allegedly interfered with her work. During the course of the case, the plaintiff died because of complications of obesity. The court allowed the EEOC to continue the case on behalf of the employee’s estate and under the EEOC’s authority to address discrimination regardless of the presence of an individual plaintiff. Then the court ruled that morbid obesity itself can be a disability. Prior decisions have emphasized that there should be some other medical conditions that contribute to the obesity. Thus, those other conditions are the disabilities, and obesity is an effect. Now, this court found no other physiological impairments need be present; the obesity alone is a disability. EEOC v. Resources for Human Development, Inc. (E.D. La., 2011).

Read Obesity Is a Disability, Says EEOC for more on hiring workers with disabilities and EEOC regulations.

Discrimination: Religion

Non-Amish worker can pursue discharge case. In McIntire v. Keystone RV Co. (E.D. Penn., 2011), the court found sufficient evidence to validate an ex-employee’s religious-discrimination case. The plaintiff alleged that he took a job at an Amish-owned company, and then a new manager began a practice of replacing non-Amish workers with Amish. The plaintiff was then replaced. The company tried to argue that being “non-Amish” is not a protected category under Title VII; one must be discriminated against because of one’s religion—not one’s non-religion. The court rejected this argument. Title VII protects a person because of their religion and also protects against discrimination because one does not hold the same beliefs as the employer. Religion should play no role either way in private-sector employment decisions.

For more on religious issues, read Religious Discrimination in the Workplace.

Discrimination: Race

Stick to one story. A Black welder gave two different versions for leaving his employment, in two different cases: personal injury and Title VII discrimination. In the Title VII case, the employee claimed he was constructively discharged; he had to quit because of racial harassment by coworkers and supervisors knew it, and that was the only reason he left. Prior to resigning, the welder had been injured in an off-work car accident. He sued the other driver. In that case, he claimed he had been forced to quit work because of the injury, claiming “I’m in pain all the time.” He claimed the only reason he had to quit work was because of the injury and “my supervisors knew this is why I had to quit.” It appeared he was telling whatever story was most convenient to get the most damages in either case—double-dipping. Evidence of the testimony in the personal-injury case came to light in the Title VII case. The court dismissed the discrimination case based upon dishonesty. Brown v. Oil States Skagit Smatco (5th Cir., 2011).

Watch our mentoring webinar for best practices on retaining and developing Black, Latino, Asian and women talent.

Family and Medical Leave Act

Prenatal appointments qualify for FMLA, and company should have known better than to threaten discharge. Pregnancy itself is defined as a serious medical condition under the FMLA. In Dean v. Wackenhut Corp. (N.D. Ill., 2011), an employee requested FMLA for prenatal-care appointments. She made the request 20 days in advance. The company denied leave, on the basis that the appointment was “merely an initial examination and not medically necessary.” Then the company told her that she would be fired for no call-no show if she did go to the appointment. The employee pleaded for the ability to go to the appointments. In response, she was told that she “should not use pregnancy as a crutch … pregnancy is not an illness.” She sued for interference with FMLA rights. The court granted summary judgment in her favor. The violation was so clear cut that damages could be awarded without need of a trial. The decision called the employer’s actions “misguided and unfounded” and held that by denying leave and “by attempting to scare her into not taking the time off by threatening disciplinary action—indeed, discharge,” Wackenhut deprived her of her rights under the FMLA as a matter of law.

University denies intermittent leave for adoption. FMLA covers leave for birth, adoption or placement of a foster child. A university employee requested intermittent leave to care for a newly adopted child. The university denied the leave. She sued for interference with FMLA rights. The court granted summary judgment, dismissing the case. FMLA leave for serious medical conditions of employees or family members can be taken in short, intermittent periods. The new-child leave provision is different. It allows the employer the discretion to grant intermittent leave or deny it and force the leave to be taken all at one time. The employee had not made any claim about a serious health condition, so the university could validly deny intermittent leave. DeLuca v. Trustees of the University of Pennsylvania (E.D. Penn., 2011).

Read FMLA: What Employers Need to Know for more insights on FMLA regulations.

Bob Gregg, a partner in Boardman & Clark Law Firm, shares his roundup of diversity-related legal issues. He can be reached at rgregg@boardmanclark.com.

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Second, we are also in the beginning stages of forming a generational/new professional/young professional affinity group. We’d like some best practices/research on what other companies are calling similar groups. Would you be able to provide us with some information?

A: Forty-four percent of DiversityInc Top 50 companies have generational resource groups. This number is up from 40 percent in 2009. No companies had generational-resource groups in 2005.

The approaches to generational groups vary, depending on the specific needs of your company. When we say varied, we mean some companies have one “generational group” that is focused on generational communications, talent development and planning for Generation Y to step into leadership roles. Some companies have a specific need for on-boarding and retention and may focus their group specifically on Generation X or Y. Some companies might have an aging workforce or concerns around retirement transition, eldercare or succession planning and may focus the group on boomers and beyond. Some companies have both. The most successful groups communicate across generations and don’t restrict membership to one group. For example, a Gen X group would be open to older members who want to learn more about Gen X.

Seventy-six percent of DiversityInc Top 50 companies have a resource group for people with disabilities. This number is up from 70 percent in 2009 and 48 percent in 2005.

Important to the disabilities groups—we have seen—is to have it be inclusive of “friends.” This may increase membership as employees who may have invisible disabilities and/or feel isolated or uncomfortable sharing might be more inclined to join. It is also always important, for every group, to have outside advocates. Advocates help bridge communication gaps and, to an extent, provide additional exposure or credibility.

Also relevant here is a mention of some of the more innovative groups found in the DiversityInc Top 50, including groups for telecommuters, parents, military and caregivers. Caregivers groups and disabilities groups often have overlap and sharing of information. Veterans groups and disabilities groups also have overlap.

The post Ask DiversityInc: How Can We Start Resource Groups Based on Generations, Disabilities? appeared first on DiversityInc.

DiversityInc examined global diversity trends in depth in our exclusive global research. We analyzed data and demographics with more than 100 responses from 17 countries across Europe, Asia and the BRIC (Brazil, Russia, India and China) countries. The result was a wealth of information and best practices on cultural concerns and how they are being addressed. For more information on the global-diversity research, visit www.DiversityInc.com/globaldiversity.

This 1,835-word excerpt from the full “2011 Global Research Report” illustrates the complexity of this subject and the different views on what constitutes inclusion in varying regions and countries. Four detailed charts are included. 

Readers will take away:

• Which European countries dissuade valuing differences because of a cultural emphasis on assimilation
• How norms around advancing women vary between European and Asian nations, and what companies are doing to address issues of gender equity
• What two dominant challenges face companies in Asia
• The average tenure of diversity/inclusion programs in the BRIC countries and their projected progress toward inclusion
• There is a groundswell in several countries to hire one particular demographic group—see which is it and why

Go to DiversityIncBestPractices.com to read the “Why Is Global Diversity So Difficult” global report.

For more on global-diversity best practices, read “Best Practices to Overcome Global Diversity Challenges” and read ”The DiversityInc Top 10 Companies for Global Diversity” for a list of companies that excel in this area of diversity management. 

The post Why Is Global Diversity So Difficult? appeared first on DiversityInc.

DiversityInc’s March 2010 Event: Jim Sinocchi on External Endorsements

DiversityInc’s March 2010 Event: Jim Sinocchi on ‘Diversity’ Messages

DiversityInc’s March 2010 Event: Jim Sinocchi on Innovation & Values

The post Diversity Event: IBM’s Lessons for Building Diversity & Innovation appeared first on DiversityInc.

If you’ve read our 7 Things Never to Say to People With Disabilities article, then you’re well aware that there are a host of verbal landmines that could befall otherwise well-intentioned employees intending to interact with colleagues who have disabilities. Potential gaffes run the gamut from “How did you get that way” to “You look so good–are you really disabled?” to “How do you go to the bathroom?”

While some of these questions are born of cultural ignorance, others are simply clumsily-worded attempts to get to know someone with a disability better. But while offense isn’t intended, often it’s the end result.

Things ‘to’ Say to People With Disabilities to Promote Diversity & Inclusion

The key to interacting with a colleague who has a disability, says Nancy Starnes, vice president and chief of staff, National Organization on Disability, is to interact with the person, not the disability, particularly if you’re meeting the colleague for the first time.

“When it’s a new employee, people have to tread lightly,” says Starnes. “Give them time to learn something about their coworkers while they’re learning about you. And hopefully the very first thing you’re not going to care about is the disability. Ask them how they’re finding their new job here. Or ‘do you want any suggestions for the local restaurants where we go to lunch?’ The mantra we put out there is that it’s people first … not the disability.”

Sounds simple enough. Yet many “able-bodied” colleagues still seem to make blunders. In DiversityInc’s Things Not to Say series, we’ve given plenty of examples of insensitive comments to avoid. Now we are turning the tables and offering advice on some things to be mindful of when talking to coworkers from traditionally underrepresented groups.Here are a few ways to better communicate or ask questions to people with disabilities without offense.

1. “You may not need help, but please don’t hesitate to ask me if you do.”

The offer of help is often loaded because it presumes that the person is in need of assistance and is unable to deal with a given task or objective on his own, says Starnes, who has been in a wheelchair since being injured in a plane crash. So in most cases it’s better to wait until assistance is requested.

“I think the challenge becomes avoiding making the offer sound pejorative, because you can’t presume what anyone’s level of ability is,” says Starnes.

Alan Muir, executive director of Career Opportunities for Students with Disabilities, says someone’s attempt to “help” him without asking first once nearly caused a major mishap.

“One time I was boarding a jet with my bag and doing just fine making my way up the tarmac to get into the plane,” says Muir, who stands 3 feet tall. “The engines were roaring; you couldn’t hear anything. A tarmac person … came up and grabbed me from underneath my arms and attempted to lift me up to the next step with my bag. I nearly fell backwards on top of her.”

Muir says he screamed at the attendant not to touch him, since his weight might knock them both off balance and send them tumbling down onto the tarmac. “That was unreasonable, rude and unnecessary,” he says. “But in her mind she was trying to help. When you’re invading personal space without any kind of permission, that is a definite no-no.”

In that situation, Starnes says a little communication would have gone a long way.

“The best thing to do is say, ‘You may not need any help, but please don’t hesitate to ask me if you do.’ But don’t assume the help is needed,” she says. “There are people that use wheelchairs that actually walk for short distances that wouldn’t need your help in every instance.”

2. “What is the term that you prefer?”

Black or African American? Gay or homosexual? Handicapped or a person with a disability? Labeling someone because of a preconceived notion is also a stumbling block that some otherwise well-meaning employees run into.

“When I talk to you about disability as a person with a disability, what’s the term that you prefer?” says Starnes. “Some people prefer to be called people with abilities, some have no problems with the term disability, handicapable or some term like that. But asking helps give that person the option to lead the knowledge. It says to the person with the disability … ‘You are going to teach me–I’m not presuming that I know.’ And it shows that you respect them as an individual and are not lumping them into a class.”

3. “Can I ask about your disability?”

Let’s say you’ve bonded with a coworker with a disability. You’ve chatted, gone out to lunch a few times and even developed a genuine rapport over griping about the boss. You’ve really hit it off when curiosity overcomes your judgment and you blurt out, “So how did you get this way?” How many seconds will tick off the clock before you realize what a gaffe that was?

If you feel you’ve reached a point where such a question can be asked without offense, there’s a very respectful way to do it, says Karen Putz. “Ask permission.”

Putz, who has been deaf since the age of 19 as the result of a rare family gene, says asking in a simple, respectful way will often illicit a genuine response. “I’m generally an open book about being deaf,” she said. “So for me it wouldn’t be offensive if someone said, ‘May I ask you some questions about being deaf or hard of hearing?’”

Indeed, if presented the right way, Putz says she’s more than open to sharing stories about the deaf community, seeing it as an opportunity to teach those that may want a better understanding. “The deaf and hard-of-hearing community is quite diverse, with many different communication modes used and various levels of hearing loss. If one approaches those questions with an air of respect and genuineness, the subject is more likely to be discussed without a heated debate.”

At the end of the day, you should treat a coworker with a disability as you would any other colleague in the office, says Starnes–with simple dignity and respect.

The post Things ‘to’ Say to People With Disabilities appeared first on DiversityInc.

We’ve all heard them. Culturally insensitive terms such as “handicapped,” “retarded” and “slow” used to refer to people with disabilities, or “compliments” such as “but you look so good,” directed at people whose disabilities aren’t obvious. While those using the terms may not mean to be insensitive, that doesn’t make the words less hurtful.

“These terms are unacceptable because they are linked to a history that the general public isn’t aware of,” says Nancy Starnes, vice president and chief of staff for the National Organization on Disability (NOD). “And just like there are terms that you don’t use for African Americans anymore, the same goes for people with disabilities.” There are approximately 11.8 million people with reported disabilities in the work force, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

“As the demographics in this country shift, there are going to be more and more people with disabilities in the work force. And as long as accommodations are available, there’s no reason they should not expect to continue to work,” says Stern.

7 Things NEVER to Say to People With Disabilities

Read these seven things you should not say to people with disabilities, then read our list of Things ‘to’ Say to People With Disabilities to further improve awareness for diversity and inclusion at your company.

1. “What’s wrong/what happened?” or “Were you born that way?”

People view their disabilities differently. While some people may feel comfortable discussing their conditions, these are still very personal questions. They most definitely should not be the first questions you ask when meeting someone with a disability. And what’s “wrong” should never be asked.

“In the wider community, I have had perfect strangers come up to me and instead of greeting me or saying hello, they say, ‘What’s wrong? What happened?’,” says Tim Vaughn, a  marketing director with Eastman Kodak Co. “When this happens, I try to set the example by suggesting we greet each other as people first.”

2. “Oh, if you just have faith, you can be healed.”

Suggesting that a person can be “fixed” by a religious or medical breakthrough is not only insensitive, it also discounts the diagnosis of a qualified doctor. This, for some newly diagnosed people, may make dealing with medical issues more difficult.

“Some people are problem-solvers by nature and they want to help fix what they perceive is your problem. While I appreciate where their good nature comes from, it’s not the best thing to do,” Vaughn says.

3. Speaking slowly or loudly to someone who is in a wheelchair.

A common misconception is that people with physical disabilities, such as a motor or sensory impairment, also have other disabilities, particularly mental disabilities.

“When people see someone in a wheelchair, they automatically begin making assumptions,” says Vaughn. “From my personal perspective, if individuals see someone in a wheelchair, they immediately assume that there are multiple disabilities that the person is dealing with–mental, visual, auditory–and not just the fact that there is a mobility issue.”

4. “I don’t even think of you as a person with a disability.”

People with disabilities and advocates debate whether this is a “compliment” or an insult; however, many warn that it can come across as degrading a person. “What they’re trying to say, in their own way, is that I think of you as capable and able or even powerful,” says Deb Dagit, chief diversity officer for Merck & Co. (No. 16 on The 2012 DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity list). “But it comes across just exactly like saying ‘I don’t think of you as a woman,’ or ‘as Black,’ or ‘as Asian,’” adds Dagit, who has brittle-bone disease.

5. “How do you go to the bathroom?”

Questioning how someone uses the restroom is a rude question–period. It can be especially offensive to a person with a disability because it assumes that person has trouble managing basic tasks. And while you may be curious about how a person with disabilities manages things, unless your coworker volunteers the information, it’s really none of your business.

6. “But you look so good.”

There is no doubt that in today’s corporate America that keeping a good game face is important to one’s success. While this can be difficult for some people with disabilities, no one wants to have his or her work discounted.

“Comparing the appearance or ability of a person with a disability to a person without a disability has the same underlying messages as saying to a women, ‘Your report was well done, for a girl,’” Susan Henderson, executive director of the Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund (DREDF), tells DiversityInc.

7. “Oh, you’re here, you must feel better.”

It’s wrong to assume that because someone is at work, he or she is feeling better, or not affected by his or her disability that day. For people with chronic or “invisible” illnesses, becoming accustomed to living with the disability is a necessary part of an individual’s day-to-day life.

The post 7 Things NEVER to Say to People With Disabilities appeared first on DiversityInc.