Things 'to' Say to LGBT Coworkers

I was pleased to see the articles on what 'not' to say to some folks, but I'm baffled by the string of things "TO" say to others. Why don't we simply treat every other human being decently & with respect? No lines need to be drawn between race, color, gender, sexual orientation, etc., at work. I draw the line on 'worker' vs 'do-nothing'. I started years ago to just assume people would get used to the fact that I am a lesbian, and always brought my weekend activity, etc. into conversations. Maybe I have been lucky, but I've found that folks get used to it pretty quickly. They find they have no gossip to spread if you spread it yourself first. After finding a newspaper article about my partner & myself anonymously displayed without our permission, I started bringing in every article written about our civic activities, plus pictures! They want to see one--they can see them all! It worked!

All i know is, i have a right to talk about what i did over the weekend with my partner as much as I hear Str8 people talk about their children, churches and what they did over the weekend. Why can't people just communicate with normal conversations? Why does it have to be different?

I agree with the other positive comments, as an advocate for diversity within the company I work for and in the community at-large, I have preferred the do's over the don't. Where most bigotry comes from ignorance, uncomfortably comes from lack of education, if we treat people in a positive educational way they tend to be more accepting. So thank you for supplying the readers with more positive educational tools.

I do take acceptation to comment made by another reader above, all gay men don't look feminine just as all straight men don't look masculine. Could the image be a metrosexual man, the other stereotypical response is to assume because he has a feminine look he must be gay.

The point to all the diversity work we do is to remove all the judgmental statements and views from society, the only time someone should be interested in someone else's orientation is if they are interested in pursuing an interest in that person. Otherwise it should be based on there moral, ethical fibers combined with personality, commitment to a common cause or such things as that, but NEVER based upon there look, orientation, disabilities or abilities for that matter.

i view the image at the top of the article as purely advertizing and representative of nothing more.

I think another important thing for people to say is that, assuming you had a good relationship before, you look forward to that continuing and hopefully become even better. The degree of honesty required to come out, and have that realization being well received, should work to strengthen a relationship.

I enjoyed reading the article. Often times we focus on the negative aspects of communicating across differences. This article teaches us what are the appropriate phrases to use in a positive way. We cannot overstate the importance of communicating effectively. It is fundamental to building robust relationships at work, which lead to a more satisfied and engaged workforce. Well done.

I work for Bank of America, which has a strong support for LGBT workers (on the corporate level). However, I work right in the middle of the bible belt (Dallas - Texas), and despite a strong support from Corporate Bank of America, when you get to the local level it's quite another story. Perceptions and acceptance of LGBT associates in the bible belt (from my experience) is a challenge. While I never hide the fact to who I am, I do feel that it's a constant struggle being LGBT in this area of the country.

You "care about them as individuals" but don't care if they're married?

How can that be?

Most people pair up - that's the nature of our species. You can't be much of a leader if you think something that fundamental is part of "their personal life."

Wow.

I'm glad to see that you did include a transgender example since you said you were addressing "LGBT" co-workers. However, "what pronoun should I use?" would *only* be appropriate to someone who is indicating they intend to transition genders in the future. If they are coming out as having transitioned in the past, that question will be, rightly, perceived as extremely offensive. Co-workers should ask a clarifying question or two about whether the person is talking about their past or their future before assuming anything, and certainly before asking about pronouns!

Marion - how can you care about your co-workers as individuals and also know nothing about them? how can they "play well as a team" without having any purely human interaction? and when they DO have that interaction (as all officemates do to some degree), there's a difference between truely intimate details (ex. "How was your weekend?" "Great! My husband gave me oral sex three times!") and just talk about your life that casually reveals your sexual orientation. (ex. "How was your weekend?" "Great! My boyfriend and I took the kids to the lake.") Nobody should be making the first sort of statement (in most offices). Everyone, gay or straight, should feel free to make the second.