Things 'to' Say to Asian Coworkers

While I recognize the importance of showing respect to people, whether Asian or another race, and realize how ignorant we sound when we make the wrong comments to people who are different than us... I have to add my own observation.

I am a white, American woman, who lived in China for several years. My husband, and of course a whole slew of in-laws are Chinese, and I've lived for years confronted by their comments and questions toward me. I couldn't count the number of times I've been asked a question that started with "Do Americans like...?" or "How do Americans do...?". "What do Americans eat?" "What kind of music do Americans like?" as if we "Americans" are all the same. My step father, who is Chinese American, visited us in China and most people there refused to believe that he was, in fact, American and couldn't speak Chinese.

Sure, many people in America are ignorant about those who are different from themselves, but this is true in most cultures, and can be seen more dramatically in cultures with less diversity than ours. I don't think ignorance is the same as racism and making assumptions may be ignorant, but not neccessarily demeaning.

20 years ago, when I was traveling through Europe and meeting a lot of people from different places, I stopped asking people where they were from. For one thing, there was a lot of anti-American sentiment going around and I didn't want to be asked that question, and for another, I enjoyed trying to identify various accents etc. What I have found is that it's not necessary to ask. Over time, people will reveal the important parts of their background to you, if you are someone they feel they can trust. If something comes up like "last time I visited my grandparents in China" (or wherever)the conversation could then logically flow into whether or not the grandparents have ever been here, which leads to when the parents came over, which leads to where the co-worker was born, and so on. I see no real need to know any of this in the workplace until and unless the person brings up a natural conversation starter in this way. If something like this never comes up chances are the person either totally identifies with the "mainstream" or does not wish to share their personal life with co-workers.

Why can't people just treat others a s equals regardless of race? To make assumptions/presumptions about ones intelligence is pure ignorance. Should I assume that someone who's overweight is lazy and stupid? The blond, just an airhead? The Caucasian in the suit, the big boss? There needs to be a guide to ignorant and stupid things NOT to say to anyone, PERIOD.

In reading the "Things to say to Asian Co-workers" article, I found one part of it not quite right. The last part titled "Acknowledge Ignorance when Making a Connection" doesn't really give people the most appropriate things to say to someone who may be Asian.

"I really don't know that much about (Asians or Asian culture). Can I ask you about this?"

"My interaction with Asians has been very limited. I'm curious about this. Can I ask you a question?"

The above two questions are framed such that the person asking them is making an assumption that all persons of various Asian backgrounds can speak for those of other Asian backgrounds. Additionally, it puts the Asian person on the spot as though they have to speak for a whole group. Clearly Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, etc. are all different cultures and each individual is different. So telling people that making an assumption that it's ok to talk to someone as though they can speak for a culture that isn't even part of their heritage is really making a huge blunder.

I think this article is offensive. Perhaps I've been doing HR too long... maybe I am biased because my boyfriend is Taiwanese, and I am a Eastern European woman, pale, blond-haired, and blue-eyed. Perhaps I've had a long day. Regardless, I don't understand what "Asian" has to do with any of these enumerated issues.

Isn't it commonsense not to attribute a quality to anyone based on race, age, ethnicity, gender, etc.? Why is this article "Asian"-based? These pearls of wisdom seem to apply to any race, religion, sect, nationality. Moreover, doesn't the term "Asian" itself lump widely differing cultures? What is the value in labeling employees "Asian" except to create a cubbyhole? Asia encompasses nearly 1/3 of the world's land area; it's kind of silly to think that we are describing one set of personality traits.

Put another way, for those employees who are unsure of how to communicate with a person of color or nationality, I applaud their self-recognition -- at least they recognize a bias within themselves. By the same token, however, I think it would make more sense to advise everyone to treat everyone else based on personality and merit, not just people who may or may not be from a single continent.

I'm glad to see you consulting with LEAP. They are knowledgeable and culturally trained.

The article was good. More info around this subject would be great.