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Thinking About Coming Out at Work? What You Should Know Before Taking the Big Step
Compiled by the DiversityInc staff
February 07, 2008
Coming out at work is not easy, especially if your boss tells everyone before you have the opportunity. And unless your company is one of DiversityInc's Top 10 Companies for GLBT Employees, questions about job security, promotions and work relationships may keep you from being open and honest about who you are.
A recent Harris poll of 2,868 U.S. adults, of whom 350 self-identified as LGBT, revealed that 44 percent of LGBT respondents felt closeted at work and unable to talk freely about their partners or bring partners to corporate functions. An additional 34 percent said their partners are not considered for social functions. The poll was done in conjunction with Out & Equal and Witeck-Combs Communications.
"Coming out at work allows you to be focused on your job and not changing pronouns or hiding who you are," says Selisse Berry, executive director of Out & Equal, an advocacy organization that provides services to companies, human-resource professionals, employee-resource groups and individuals. "It allows you to put energy into your job … instead of focusing on those things that aren't that important."
If you are considering coming out to your colleagues or your boss, here are five questions you should ask yourself:
No. 1: Am I ready? If the answer to this question is shaky, perhaps you should take more time until you are fully confident. Remember, answering this question includes evaluating the potential ramifications that come along with coming out.
Click the audio icon to hear Berry explain how "ready" you need to be to come out at work. 
No. 2: Do I have supporters? Having people on your side during the coming-out process is key. Consider asking a close colleague, mentor or human-resources officer to be your support. Choose your supporter wisely. During this time, it's more important to have people who will be there for you, not afraid for you.
Listen to Berry explain why it is important to have the support of your colleagues while coming out at work.
No. 3: What's the best strategy? Determine the strategy that best suits how "out" you want to be to your colleagues. While some may prefer telling a small group of people, others may find it easier to tell everyone.
Click to hear Berry explain why different strategies work differently.
No. 4: Did I practice? While practice makes perfect most of the time, there is no perfect way to undertake the big task of coming out. However, practice will make you more comfortable with your delivery and answering questions.
No. 5: Is this the best time? Timing is everything. Remember, the company also needs to be prepared. If it is a busy time of year or there was has been a major shift in management, consider letting things settle before coming out.
Listen to Berry explain why timing is everything.
And remember one more thing: If you are working for a company that you know won't be receptive, think about working somewhere else. Check out The DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity®, all of which offer healthcare benefits for same-sex partners.
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