My wife and I were guests at Beth Asaro and Joanne Schailey's civil union at 12:01 this morning. They were the first couple to be joined in civil union under the recently passed law in New Jersey.

We've known Beth and Joanne for about five years. We met at a local Friends with Families from China social event. They have an adopted Asian daughter who is the same age as our oldest adopted Chinese daughter, and we all hit it off immediately.

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Over the years, our families have become very close. The girls are very good friends and we have dinner at each other's homes all the time. We're part of their circle of parents, siblings and friends—which for my family is good, as our own family is dispersed.

I can't think of a more loving couple and family unit. Beth is a senior administrator at AT&T and Joanne just became a registered nurse. We share the same family values about raising children and working with the adoption triangle. They're beautiful, hard-working, wonderful people—the best family unit I've ever seen. I love them.

Just after the law was passed, we were sitting in their living room and we had to ask: "Are you going to 'union?'" They obviously were waiting to tell us—they were bursting with happiness when they told us they were approached by the mayor of Lambertville to be the first couple to be joined under the new law.

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Over the years, it was clear to me that the challenge of having a family unit without the protection of the law was always under the surface. It really hit home for me on a day I'll never forget. Beth and I took our daughters to the zoo when we both had the same day off (and our respective partners were busy). We stopped at a Vietnamese restaurant to get lunch and the waiter assumed we were husband and wife. It amused us, but there was a sense of poignancy. We legally could be husband and wife—but we wouldn't be, because we weren't compatible in the sexual sense of marriage. I married my wife, but Beth couldn't marry her partner. If one of them was in the hospital, the other would have no legal rights. Their daughter is less protected under the law than our daughters are. Why?

The ceremony was beautiful. About 100 family and friends—and eight news video-camera crews and a dozen other journalists—documented history being made. It was the ultimate culmination of a 20-year relationship, a couple making a legal and socially binding commitment (as old as recorded history). The mayor of Lambertville, David DelVecchio, was clearly proud and joyous to uphold the spirit and letter of the law and show leadership by officiating at the first civil union in the state, in the Lambertville Justice Center. He signed their civil-union certificate with the same pen our great governor, Jon Corzine, used to sign the act into law. After the ceremony, I saw DelVecchio and the borough council president pat each other on the back in the way people do when they know they're on the right side of history.

I had a lot of emotions running through my mind—happiness for Beth, Joanne and little Kate, pride in their quiet bravery, dignity and bearing, and wonderment at seeing history made. I was disappointed to know that the battle was far from over—that the rights accorded to them by the state of New Jersey would not be respected across the country.

As we were leaving, Joanne framed this for me very well. She was born to be a nurse: pragmatic, loving, kind, empathetic and analytical. After we shared our joy, she told me that she felt humbled by knowing that she and Beth stood on the shoulders of many people before them, people who were burned at the stake, stoned to death, shunned, spit on, discriminated against, used as pawns by men (yes, almost always men) of authority to aggregate political and religious power. She took sustenance in their sacrifices and drew strength from the gain in civil rights that she and her partner represent. 

Today is a good day to pull the LGBT people in your life aside and tell them how much you care for them. Put a rainbow flag in your office. It's a good day to be alive.

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By George Chauncey

Why Marriage? The History Shaping Today's Debate Over Gay Equality Why has marriage emerged as the most explosive issue in the gay struggle for equality? The author shows the shifting attitudes toward gays, from the growth in acceptance to the many campaigns against gay rights that led to today's demand for a constitutional amendment. What's at stake for both sides is illuminated. For More Information

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