April 23, Cipriani Wall Street
Check out these seven things you should not say to people with disabilities, then read our list of Things ‘to’ Say to People With Disabilities to further improve awareness for diversity and inclusion at your company.
Questioning how someone uses the restroom is a rude question–period. It can be especially offensive to a person with a disability because it assumes that person has trouble managing basic tasks. And while you may be curious about how a person with disabilities manages things, unless your coworker volunteers the information, it’s really none of your business.
It’s wrong to assume that because someone is at work, he or she is feeling better, or not affected by his or her disability that day. For people with chronic or “invisible” illnesses, becoming accustomed to living with the disability is a necessary part of an individual’s day-to-day life.
There is no doubt that in today’s corporate America, keeping a good game face is important to one’s success. While this can be difficult for some people with disabilities, no one wants to have his or her work discounted. “Comparing the appearance or ability of a person with a disability to a person without a disability has the same underlying messages as saying to a women, ‘Your report was well done, for a girl,’” Susan Henderson, Executive Director of the Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund.
People view their disabilities differently. While some people may feel comfortable discussing their conditions, these are still very personal questions. They most definitely should not be the first questions you ask when meeting someone with a disability. And what’s “wrong” should never be asked.
“I have had perfect strangers come up to me and instead of greeting me or saying hello, they say, ‘What’s wrong? What happened?’,” says Tim Vaughn, a Marketing Director with Eastman Kodak. “When this happens, I try to set the example by suggesting we greet each other as people first.”
People with disabilities and advocates debate whether this is a “compliment” or an insult; however, many warn that it can come across as degrading a person. “What they’re trying to say, in their own way, is that I think of you as capable and able or even powerful,” says Deb Dagit, retired Chief Diversity Officer for Merck & Co. “But it comes across just exactly like saying, ‘I don’t think of you as a woman’ or ‘as Black’ or ‘as Asian,’” adds Dagit, who has brittle-bone disease.
Suggesting that a person can be “fixed” by a religious or medical breakthrough is not only insensitive, it also discounts the diagnosis of a qualified doctor. This, for some newly diagnosed people, may make dealing with medical issues more difficult.
“Some people are problem-solvers by nature and they want to help fix what they perceive is your problem. While I appreciate where their good nature comes from, it’s not the best thing to do,” Vaughn says.
A common misconception is that people with physical disabilities, such as a motor or sensory impairment, also have other disabilities, particularly mental disabilities.
“When people see someone in a wheelchair, they automatically begin making assumptions,” says Vaughn. “From my personal perspective, if individuals see someone in a wheelchair, they immediately assume that there are multiple disabilities that the person is dealing with–mental, visual, auditory–and not just the fact that there is a mobility issue.”
I’m really enjoying this series. Each article serves as a good reminder that in professional settings the best course of action is to stick to professional topics until told otherwise.
Probably the worst thing anyone ever said to me at work was when my boss announced that as per upper management our department who were already overworked and overburdened would be taking on even more work and that he knew I would stay and tolerate whatever they threw at me because he knew I needed the “health insurance” I couldn’t tell you what else was said during that meeting. My mouth had to be open hitting the floor. We weren’t alone, there were four other women in office too and he proceeded to give each an assessment of whether or not he could rely on them to handle the extra work but when he came to me well…he just knew I would take it! This was a well known investment bank too not some Mom and Pop shop that may not have known better.
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