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What Do White Men Think of Black Women?

Ask the White Guy Luke Visconti

Do all white men think all Black women are hoochie mama, welfare, child bearing, uneducated b******?

No, I don’t think all white men feel that way about Black women. However, media images and the lack of interracial socializing have led to a situation where the distinct minority of white men can say that they truly know a Black woman. Even fewer can say with conviction that they trust a Black woman in either a business or personal relationship.

My friend, former Rutgers Business School Professor Dr. dt ogilvie, co-authored a phenomenal paper about African American Women Executives (AAWE). Her paper documents how AAWE leadership traits are very different from white women’s. They’re actually similar to white male leadership traits. This creates a conflict with many white men, especially those from my generation (age 47) or older. It comes from a mix of racial AND gender stereotyping. You’ll hear that expressed in terms like “You’re so articulate” or “Can you believe that this ‘little lady’ can do (insert normal business function here).”

Ignorance and confusion are hardly conducive to a good relationship. The good news is that there are a growing number of white men who know, trust and rely on their black women colleagues. By the way: If you are unsure of what a “hoochie mama” is, I recommend www.urbandictionary.com. It is a useful tool, especially for white men.

Luke Visconti’s Ask the White Guy column is a top draw on DiversityInc.com. Visconti, the founder and CEO of DiversityInc, is a nationally recognized leader in diversity management. In his popular column, readers who ask Visconti tough questions about race/culture, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability and age can expect smart, direct and disarmingly frank answers.



  • grannybunny

    In my opinion, the question is flawed, in that it is, basically, asking whether White men — stereotyping them based on their color and gender — hold certain stereotypes about Black women. Any answer addressing the question as written is doomed to be equally flawed. Under the circumstances, Luke did about as good a job as possible.

    • Luke Visconti

      Thank you. I’m almost positive the question was a joke; I answered it as if it were a serious question. Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc

  • Donna Howlett

    Is there ever going to be a time when I am recognized for what I do and not for the color of my skin or my gender. Is there ever a point when someone will say that I am an executive, period, end of story. The fact that I’m a woman or even a woman of color should not make a difference.

    • I expect that to happen when I’m old and gray (i’m in my 30s now) and am too tired to care anymore.

    • No never. Get use to it.

    • Agreed. This idiot does not speak for me or any of my pals. How can anyone make such an idiotic blanket statement about a group of people. Listen, guys are so simple, really. The first thing I notice is the beauty of a woman. Its true – we’re guys. Then very quickly, I move onto the personality and the mutual connection factor. Believe me, opposites play a factor in the appeal. Most blonde guys like me are highly attracted to African American woman.Their is really nothing tangible I can put my finger on, but it’s definitely there. As a vet, we were taught we were all Americans irregardless of our backgrounds. Too much made of race in this country. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman – Period! Now beauty is a subjective term and thought process. Everyone’s idea of beautiful is different, no one should sell themselves short.

  • Mergie Allen

    I never thought about white Africians beign black or American African. I only thought of American Africians as being born Black in American. Do we learn something new for debate every day. I suppose when you thing about it, they are black America wehn they come to America. I’ll bet that is a stigmathat they have to live that one down.

  • I met a black lady on line 2 years ago. We were married 6 months ago. She moved from the Seattle Wa. area to my area a town of 3,000 people. She is a queen my family members love her as well as my friends. We are both senior citizens and are living our retirements having a good time. I just wished we met several years ago. But things happen for a reason.

  • Craig L. Perkins, Sr.

    All women fight an uphill battle in the workplace especially black women. Black women are strong and powerful in general, because of life’s challenges and when they make it to the coporate level, there is nothing they haven’t seen or can’t handle. So, it is understandable why a white man is afraid of a black woman at that level, because all they know is what the media portrays so they really don’t know the “black woman” personally or professionally, therefore they are left with assumptions and media stereotypes. There is way more substance to a black woman whether she is a CEO or works the Drive-Thru at McDonalds.

    • Luke Visconti

      In my experience as a trustee of Bennett College for nine years, working with many Black women executives in corporate America and having several Black women reporting to me, I have come to learn what you already knew. In my opinion, there is no demographic in our nation with more strength of character than Black women. Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc

      • Bennett Belle in tha house! :-)
        I can appreciate all handsome men…race doesn’t matter to me as to what’s attractive. When it comes to outside of my race, I’ve thought of myself as open. With White men, I haven’t had any experience dating them. I don’t feel deprived or disgusted in the thought of dating them, but I’ve often wondered if I’m truly open to dating them. I’ve been attracted to them, and I’ve told myself in the past that I was open, but thinking more seriously about it now, I can honestly say that I’m not sure. I guess some of the potential familial issues would deter me or be the reason for my hesitancy. Hmm…I don’t know, perhaps if I were asked out by a White guy I was attracted to, I might be more sure. :-/

  • Steve Izzy

    Luke, I occasionally read the columns you have on this website, and this one struck a nerve. I’m a white guy, and I’ve had several black women working for me in the past, of which one of my best machine operators was a black woman. I enjoyed working with her and gave her the best evaluations and pay increases available, since she put all of the white/hispanic men and women to shame. She had kids to feed and take care of, and I respected her more than ever for that. I also had a black man, who worked there for over 30 years, and one of the white operators made a comment about his intelligence, so I told him that he may not talk as well as you, but he has a job and you don’t. You’re Fired!

    • In reading, it behooves me to find that as a child, being called names and I learned to fight back. As an adult I am taken off guard as to the inference to such which seems to be the times to subject another to downgrading them because of difference that hinges on their race. Most educated people no matter what race or climate they come from are able to carry well across communication channels a openness that shows no prejudice in refinement. I see intercultural competence is something new that needs to be adopted into the management planning of all businesses in every part of America more so. Race or color has always been a separated value wage. This is why online learning brings more substance to writing rather than a face. Even when we provide a bio-of who, we learn the beginnings of what another hopes for and offers instrumentally.

      I have never been a racist, but I have learned my prejudices built through the confines of those who give no value to difference of race, religion, culture, or any driver for success!

  • Christina

    Luke are you single? I am a 29 yo F African American physician. You sound like a great guy. On a separate note, a lot of African American women are very attracted to white men, but they don’t seem to approach us that often.

    • Luke Visconti

      No, I’m married and way too old for you. I have a lot of Black women friends and get the impression that many of them wouldn’t date white men. I dated a couple of Black women back in the day. Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc

      • Cindy Shepard

        I’m a black women and you’re wrong. I actually hold a dual-citizenshinship as a Kenyan-born American with a mixed family–from the “motherland”, as someone put it. And Luke, you’re very wrong. Please don’t assume black women won’t date white men, we do. It just generally isn’t accepted or portrayed in the mainstream and media. My fiance is a white Danish man! Among my exes, are a white Australian, a white German, and several white Americans. But it can frustrating and denigrating dating white American men due to our racial history. Anyway, we date white men. If I didn’t encounter so many American ones who said “well you’re not REALLY black” or “you’re pretty and black women aren’t generally my thing..”, I probably wouldn’t have moved on to Europeans.

    • A lot of white men love black women, I happen to be one of them, I think they are to shy or unable to handle the way that some folks in society look down on interracial couples. I believe love knows no boundaries.

      • I really liked your comment. I’m biracial but I do agree with your statement, some black women, especially those in the South, do shy away from the experience.

  • I’m a black woman. And honestly the reason why a lot of us don’t approach or reciprocate white men, is because we think they’re not attracted to us. And most of them aren’t T__T(so says statistics). And then we have family to deal with. But I’m just discussing general feelings of some black women. I found that me being friends(not purposely, but like with men I have a lot in common with) with white men has made things more open. Their not aggressive, but super sweet and “shy-ish”? Then eventually I get asked out. And most of time, they tell me that they didn’t think I liked white guys.

    • In my mixed dating experience, they generally arent, unless theres some special reason.

      I spent years in an abusive mixed relationship (after an upbringing of being called ‘black and ugly’ more times than i could count), and put up with numerous slights, insults, negative comments about my looks, etc. This man eventually ended up having sex with my bi-racial daughter (who i guess wasnt black and ugly :-).

      I moved on, and found my husband, who has the honor of being the only man to ever find me beautiful, and not merely a sexual opportunity. I think what we have is very rare.

  • Neral Fegro

    101,823 white women were reportedly raped or sexually assaulted by black men from the years 2003-2006 (the most recent reliable data from the Dept. of Justice)

    20,309 in 2003
    11,611 in 2004
    37,460 in 2005
    32,443 in 2006

    Guess how many white men reportedly raped or sexually assaulted black women during those same years?

    0 in 2003
    0 in 2004
    0 in 2005
    0 in 2006

    Now there is a margin of error in the way these stats were gathered, but even accounting for that, it’s less than ten in the entire four years. These stats may bother you but stats are stats. I don’t think “cops must be racist” could account for such a large, obvious difference.

    I will note here that there are plenty of cases of whites sexually assaulting women of their own race, and the same goes for black people… but per capita, white men commit far less sexual assault, and the same goes for almost all other crime too.

    Blacks are an estimated 39 times more likely to commit violent crime against a white person than vice versa, and 136 times more likely to commit robbery. It’s important to consider here, that blacks only make up 13% of the population, and about 7% of them are male. White people make up 72% of the population, and about half (36%) are white males. Despite the large difference in population, black men are committing just under half of the overall crimes and about 60% of the violent crimes.

    Liberals will tell you this is because they are systemically oppressed, but african americans enjoy a very high standard of living compared to the rest of the world, they get many more opportunities for college scholarships and even jobs than whites with the same qualifications due to affirmative action, and they are constantly fetishized by our modern entertainment industry as being “cool”, “hip”, “strong”, “witty” and “sexy” while whites are often portrayed as bumbling and out-of-touch with the modern world, or just plain evil and racist. Liberals will jump at the chance to defend you against any detractors and will publicly shame them as bigots. Meanwhile black people can say anything they wish about white people without consequences. Even if it’s blatantly racist. Even if someone notes a racist view held by a black person, it wil be followed by why it’s excused. If you break the law or attack someone and are shot, there will be a national campaign to bring your killer to justice, even before any facts are out. If the facts contradict the view that you “din do nuffin”, then they will be ignored or labeled as racist lies. You also get to hate white people who’ve never owned slaves for slavery you never personally endured. Even though the US only represented 4% of the atlantic slave trade, you get to blame white americans and the other 96% from the rest of the world gets a pass.

    So to answer the question “what do white men think of black women?” Well, we obviously hold you in higher regard as human beings than black men do white women, what with all the raping and robbing and assaulting. I don’t very often find black women to be personally attractive, but i can recognize when a black woman is pretty. There are some exceptions of course. (i’m picky about white girls too)

    Bottom line, if you are fit and take care of yourself, and do not buy into the mainstream radio/television’s degenerate, immoral culture where ignorance and criminality are praised above being kind, smart, or noble… I’d probably like you just fine. But if you live up to all of your own negative stereotypes, and actively avoid rising above them, I’ll have nothing to do with you. That goes for any race. I judge by behavior, not by color… but i’m not “colorblind” enough to ignore statistics and probability in favor of brainwashing for the sake of “diversity”.

    • Luke Visconti

      I wondered why you had no links to the DOJ website, then I found a post on Stormfront.org that those statistics were removed from the DOJ website—which also reported that 8,447 Black women were raped by white men in 2002. Clearly, the numbers for 2003 on were in error. All of the rest of your stats are fiction as well, you racist POS.

      Get your head out of your ass. Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc

  • ryan evans

    I feel the same about black women as I do about anyone… If you pride yourself in negative things, and live up to the negative stereotypes, I probably will dislike you. If you are intelligent, kind, and do your best to rise above negative things, I probably think you are great. If you spend your weekends at the club, drunk, throwing yourself at losers who spit “game”… I’ll dislike you no matter who you are or where you’re from.

    • Luke Visconti

      It strikes me that your comment assumes that Black women are generally negative. How does that approach work, Romeo? Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc

  • I’m a 19 yr old guy from a small town in Texas. I am the “clean cut, disciplined” type of guy. Let me tell you, many men in my area do not like black women because they fall easily to stereotypes. And the white guys who are attracted to black women are concerned that if they go and talk to the ladies that they will be shot down because they are white. I don’t have a preference on a woman’s skin color or ethnicity, although I am very attracted to dark skin tones . I have dated a black woman before and she was just normal, like everyone else. Most white guys I know think they are so different but in truth they are no different than anyone else. Just an individual with their own opinions and tastes. Love doesn’t have a color. So to wrap this up, there are white guys like me who are very attracted to black women and would like to have healthy normal relationships. Only issue I see is that on two occasions, I had expressed interest to a black woman and they told me that they don’t date outside their skin color, and it produces complications. A shame really. I don’t have a problem with it at all.

  • Kimberly R

    Good that so many people are at least willing to have a dialog about something that’s usually not included in our long debate in this country about race. The important lesson is no one human should be pre judged based on gender color or what society deems stereotypical for that group of people. In all interactions with humans we should only gleen who they are based on content of character.

  • Jeannie Robertson

    I’m a 55 year old black who dates white men

  • I have recently opened up to the possibility of dating outside my race. I have tried the online dating thing to meet guys because I have never been approached by white guys. So on the dating sites I have had numerous replies, but most of them are looking for hook ups. One guy even admitted to me that he doesn’t know many white guys that would date a black women inpublic, no matter how pretty she is. I wonder is it the fact that I live in Mississippi? There is still a lot of racial tension here.

    • Where in Mississippi do you live? White man here in ms myself and I love black women.

    • White man in MS here. A lot of my white friends have had sexual thoughts toward black women, I’m sure! Would they ever admit to it? Nope. Why? How others would perceive them. I’m the only one of my friends who openly admits to being with and being attracted to black women. As a white man in Mississippi, that can be pretty damaging to ones social status. Not only that, it’s something that can end relationships with their families and friends. Why do I do it? Love has no color and I don’t care how people perceive me. The kind of person who wouldn’t approve of me dating a black woman isn’t the kind of person I care being around, family or not. They can take their racism elsewhere.

  • Shammy Sue

    Racism will never end unless we (black) stop feeling inferior whenever we met the whites. We must think outside the box and raise our self esteem.

  • Shammy Sue

    I believe perfomance has nothing to do with gender or race.

  • Most black,women are conservative,daters………….why?…..we just are…lol

  • Just wanted to say for the record- I am a black woman who has no problem dating white men. As a matter of fact I love it and it doesn’t take away from men of other ethnicities. I just happen to find dark hair, gray eyes and a lean cut body very sexy. Nuff said.

  • I’m a single, attractive, business women in Alabama. I dated white men in the past and honestly, still attracted to them. I dare not date white men now. It’s too painful. It is as if there is a spot light on you both when together. In private it was magical. I miss him. But the hurt from both families, especially my father, was too much for me.

  • TooTiredToKeepTrying

    In my opinion: Black women with white men are more the exception than the norm. And the latest trend I’ve noticed (based on my own observations here in Pittsburgh, PA): non-American Black women are more likely to be dating/married to a White man than American black women. And I can name 3 couples off the top of my head.

    And the online dating statistics are true: Black women are the least approached, or responded to, in general online. I’ve tried the following (at various times); Match.com, interracialmatch.com, eharmony, newspapers, radio (when they used to have both methods to meet people). The ones who emailed me wanted just s*x, and the ones I emailed rarely responded…and if it was, it turned to wanting s*x.

    So, once again: Black women who marry…Black women who marry outside their race (especially American Black women with white men) are the exceptions.

    • Luke Visconti

      Pittsburgh is not a good city for diversity. In 15 years there has never been a Pittsburgh company that even tried to earn a spot on our list. You should move someplace nicer. Toss a dart at a map. Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc

    • So much for stats, I’m on a Mature dating site 50 and over and almost 85% of my pursuers are White males, then White Hispanic, East Indians/Middle Eastern then only 4% of Black males.

      Yes, I’m a Black woman

    • After being run through the ringer by black men who preferred non-black (or bi-racial) women, and found me unattractive, i gave up. Didnt look back.

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