‘I Have Black Friends’ Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Racist
Question:
Why is it whenever white people defend their racism, the first thing they default to is “I’m not a bigot” and the second thing is “I have friends who are black”? I could scream.
Answer:
It’s disorienting for white people who think they really aren’t biased to be confronted with a reality they have not considered. You’ll also hear things such as “Oh, I guess we have to be politically correct” as opposed to something more accurate like “I guess I can’t manhandle your self-esteem anymore.”
Considering most interracial conversations happen at the workplace (Americans are socially very segregated), these common phrases of denial demonstrate how diversity training is crucial to productivity and engagement.
Luke Visconti’s Ask the White Guy column is a top draw on DiversityInc.com. Visconti, the founder and CEO of DiversityInc, is a nationally recognized leader in diversity management. In his popular column, readers who ask Visconti tough questions about race/culture, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability and age can expect smart, direct and disarmingly frank answers.
12:09 pm
I completely agree. One of the most racist white people I know has two children by my Black father. She tries to use that as her justification. I have had to tell her for years that liking that man has nothing to do with your racist attitudes and beliefs about other Black people or Black people as a whole. In addition, I am more than 20 years older than her oldest child and I have had to teach them not to model their mother’s beliefs but to love the part of them that is Black and to be proud of it. Friends are friends because of the things they have in common. It has nothing to do with the sociopolitical reality or a person’s general beliefs about a group. Thanks for that Luke. It is time that got clarified and understood.
2:51 pm
Friendship is very overrated. Especially if a black person considers someone white as a “genuine” friend. If the two work in the same environment, and the white one is approached by his manager who is also white to betray his black friend…this person will do it in a heartbeat… this I know from experience from several situations. Having a good friend either black or white, that is loyal considerate, honest and has your back, if very hard to come by.. But to expect a white person to have all these qualities and be your friend, is reaching for heights that are too high to reach. Just my opinion,
2:59 pm
I’m not going to deny your reality, but I will point out that you would not want to be stereotyped in a similar way. Luke Visconti, CEO, DiversityInc